Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
