I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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