11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
