Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
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i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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