So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
