whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
sex in a hospital.. check
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
