She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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