I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
