Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
