Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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