Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
