Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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