So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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