Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
