He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
