small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize