me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
