she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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