its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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