This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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