"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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