Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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