i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
