let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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