Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
