No, you can still breathe under the balls.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
