My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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