between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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