I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
