So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
