Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
