what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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