You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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