Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
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Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
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I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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