So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
