So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
