yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
