so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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