Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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