maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
