I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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