Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
