found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
