I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
