Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize