I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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