i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
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pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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