But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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