Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
