i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
