Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
