I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
