I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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