So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Randomize
