I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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