I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
