i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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