His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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