Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Its about making memories worth repressing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
