i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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