At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
