Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize