i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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