I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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