I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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