Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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