when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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